to let go, to trust and to become empty…


Photo by Gunnar Uhlenhut

It has been about 2 months since I came to the IRC. So far it has been a very interesting, sometimes intimidating, but definitely a very charged time. I have come a step further in my personal as well as in my artistic process. However, this process has been quite intense and not always smooth. It happens in waves. I struggle with a certain phenomenon, I look at it, I try to deal with it, breathe through it and let old and unnecessary things fall off of me. For the first time I have undertaken a venture where I didn’t have a very clear vision of how the end product should look like. I am a very ambitious and well-organized person, so this was quite frightening at times. It left me in complete free fall. I couldn’t give exact answers if somebody asked me what it was that I was doing, which has put me in a vulnerable somewhat unstable position. I love the challenge and I am very grateful to have nice colleagues, great teachers and a wonderful mentor around me to support me and to accompany my path.

A couple of days ago I received this photo and felt: this is exactly representing my current experience – whether it is my research or the time I spend in meditation.
There are all these interwoven, knotted, matted, and linear structures. Sometimes I can see the light; sometimes I cannot – depending on where my focus is. The direction seems to be clear and it’s in its nature to happen all by itself – I only need to allow it to happen. One of the most difficult things to do at the moment is: to let go, to trust and to become empty…

Johanna Devi, German dancer and choreographer is currently IRC-Fellow at the Center, pursuing a research project on a practical approach on spirituality and performance.